This piece is an opinion of an opinion because self-care is inherently subjective. At the very least, it’s a relative concept, dependent on the circumstances of one’s life and how it is perceived by the individual. What does it mean to care for oneself? Who knew it would be such a convoluted concept—something as seemingly simple as caring for the self? Why is there a lofty presumption that “self-care” means indulgence, spending hundreds of dollars on spa treatments, manicures, and massages to feel like we’ve achieved it?
Upon reflecting more deeply on the concept of self-care, it dawned on me that the entire idea is an opinion rooted in an individual’s perspective on life. I began to think about self-care in my own life and what that might look like. The truth is, self-care has to be perceived in relation to one’s lifestyle. It’s going to look different for everyone.
We can start with a simple question: What is the common denominator in most people’s lifestyles today? In my practice as a functional nutrition counselor and thermographer, I’ve never encountered a client who scores low for stress on an initial assessment. One thing we’ve collectively achieved as a society is universal stress across every demographic. The obvious truth is that we all participate in a fast-paced, high-demand, always-on carousel of a lifestyle.
That being said, I think there are some basic tenets of self-care that could apply to most people reading this.
Number One: To Do, or Not to Do?
“To be, or not to be, that is the question.” Let’s tweak literature’s most famous line and ask: To do, or not to do? As a young mom who is also a small business owner, homeschool teacher, and full-time short-order cook in my home, my minutes are already in the negative when I wake up each morning. How am I supposed to “do self-care” if it means getting a massage at the spa or taking time for a pedicure? These activities cost not only dollars but also precious, precious minutes.
What might self-care look like for someone like me? I’m not in an uncommon demographic. Most of the women I know are living on the same hamster wheel, and their main complaints are that there aren’t enough hours in the day. Not only do they lack time for themselves, but they also go to bed feeling guilty for not spending enough time with their children or partner.
This brings me back to my revised quote: To do, or not to do. Having established that time is our most valuable currency, self-care must involve careful budgeting of our minutes. Where are you allocating your time? What unnecessary things are stealing your attention? It’s time to cut the fat—eliminate the things that don’t serve you. Can you be intentional with how you spend your time to bring yourself closer to living a life you’ll look back on with pride? To holding the pen and authoring the story of your life?
Side note: I wonder if Billy Shakespeare was a proponent of self-care.
Number Two: Perspective is Everything
Self-care can be as simple as changing one thing: your perspective. Start by seeing yourself differently. When you look in the mirror, view that person as if it were your own child. Looking at yourself through the caring lens of a nurturer (like a mother figure) will evoke more empathy for yourself. Negative self-talk detracts from our innate ability to care for ourselves. If you were looking at your own child, would you speak to them as harshly as you speak to yourself? If your child had a bad habit, you’d gently guide them to stop. Why not extend the same grace to yourself?
There are 1,440 minutes in a day—plenty of time to be kind to yourself. I used to struggle with setting unattainable goals and expecting everything of myself. This unsatisfying lifestyle sent a harmful message: I am never enough. Everything was unattainable, and even when I met a goal, I’d immediately focus on the next. Shifting perspective to see myself with compassion has been transformative.
There’s a concept in Chinese philosophy that I love called Shen. Shen represents spirit, residing in the center of your heart. When your Shen is disturbed, you may feel manic, depressed, or unfocused. But when you feel gratitude, comfort, and joy, your Shen is nourished. Self-care involves feeding your Shen—choosing what nourishes your spirit and letting go of what doesn’t.
Number Three: A Cozy Blanket
I asked my eight-year-old son what “self-care” means to him. Without hesitation, he said, “Lying under a big, cozy blanket.” While self-care is more than getting under a blanket, his simple answer reminded me that it’s about calming the nervous system.
Our nervous systems are overstimulated by today’s constant demands. The idea of self-care wouldn’t even exist if our nervous systems weren’t so taxed. A warm blanket offers physical comfort, blocks external stimuli, and mimics the sensation of a hug—an uncomplicated yet profound form of self-care.

A Few Closing Thoughts
Stop postponing the actions that recalibrate your system. Whether it’s a walk, a nap, or a reflexology appointment, put it on your calendar. Be intentional.
If you’re hard on your body, consider softening your approach. Honor your body by loving it, even on challenging days. Show it unconditional love.
Finally, cultivate foresight. Over-scheduling yourself is stressful, but planning ahead—prepping meals, laying out clothes, or tackling tasks early—frees up precious time.
Actionable Self-Care Plan:
Prioritize: Nap, walk, meet a friend, or book an appointment. Take action.
Speak Kindly: Foster a positive inner dialogue.
Balance: Adjust your efforts based on what your body needs.
Plan Ahead: Schedule and prepare to create ease.
Make Better Choices: Avoid foods and habits that harm your body.
Drink More Water.
Invest in Comfort: A high-quality, all-encompassing blanket might become your best friend.
Self-care is deeply personal—it’s about finding your balance. Seek joy, cherish your body, and remember that professionals like chiropractors, acupuncturists, and thermographers can guide you along the way. Whatever your path to balance, your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.
At IVY Integrative, you can work with one practitioner or build your own team of holistic practitioners! Reach your optimum health in-person or online. Check out our Get Started page to learn how to work with us!
Author: Danielle Benham CTT, CFNC
Disclaimer: This information is generalized and intended for educational purposes only. Due to potential individual contraindications, please see your primary care provider before implementing any strategies in these posts.